• Men are really in for a shock when their partner has a baby. They are no longer the centre of the universe and all attention and affection is redirected to the new family member. Soften the blow by giving your partner some conscious attention during the newborn stage.

• Men don’t understand women’s hormones at the best of times so unless he’s an endocrinologist, don’t expect your partner to understand what a full-on hormonal roller coaster you are on in those first postnatal weeks. Men are terrible mind readers. JUST TELL HIM what you are going through. Don’t expect the poor bugger to guess.

• My mantra for a happy marriage is: “You get what you settle for”, so don’t settle for your partner taking only a week off work after the baby is born and spending three of those nights out with his mates. Don’t settle for your partner planning a fishing trip two weeks after your due date. Lay down the ground rules before the baby is born.

• And here are the ground rules that he needs to know:
• You need him to take as much time off work as possible
• You need him to allow you to live in a mothering cocoon for at least a month so you can lavish attention on your newborn and establish breastfeeding, which means he’s responsible for everything else: housework, washing, cooking, grocery shopping.
• You’ll need him to beat a path between home and the chemist for anything you need, such as nipple cream, maternity pads, breast pads, breast pumps, bottles and sterilising equipment.
• You need to tell him that you need his unconditional love, which includes those extra 15 kilos you put on.
• Your mother is not a substitute for a good father. Tell him that HE needs to be there for you and for your baby.

Source

• Give your child a sense of control: Put a potty (or for boys, a training urinal) in the bathroom starting around the first birthday. Don’t say anything about it. Your child will figure out very quickly what it is. Initially, kids use potties as toys, storage bins, hats–just about anything other than a potty. Fine. Just ignore it. The first time your child sits (or stands) and attempts to use it, make a big deal. Your child will test you and see if you react to her using a diaper–pay no attention. Give positive reinforcement for using a potty and ignore everything else. Eventually, your child will seek the positive reinforcement.

• Potty training for pee precedes potty training for poop: Most kids will urinate in a toilet months before they will poop in one. This is fine. Don’t push the issue, because if you child has a bad experience pooping (if she is scared, for instance), it can trigger a cycle of withholding and constipation. Tell your child that you will be proud of her when she poops in the potty, but if she can’t do it, then she needs to ask for a diaper when she feels the need to go.

• Their friends count more than you do: Your child knows how to push your buttons, so even if you think you are being sneaky, it is pretty obvious that you are eager to have him use the toilet. Pushing your buttons is fun for your child, and one way to push your buttons is to refuse to use the toilet. But, most kids seek to impress their friends. Invite a potty-trained friend or family member over and, at some point, ask that child if they will show your child how to use the toilet. It is not uncommon for the play date to end and for the unpotty-trained child to announce that they want to use the toilet just like so-and-so.

By Mrs. Poonam

Seven Tips for Raising Kids Who Care:

Almost all parents want their children to be good people and to be happy. But many parents today are intensely focused on their children’s happiness and self-esteem and many parents, research indicates, believe that happiness and self-esteem are a foundation for morality, that “feeling good” will lead to “doing good.” Yet self-esteem does not lead to caring and responsibility for others– greedy corporate executives and gang leaders can have high self-esteem.

Here are some tips both for shifting the balance from a “self-esteem and happiness focused” parenting approach toward caring and responsibility as well as for developing key social and emotional capacities in children that are a foundation for both morality and a lasting well-being.

1. Instead of telling your children, “The most important thing is that you are happy,” tell them, “The most important thing is that you are kind, and that you are responsible for others.”

2. Help your children appreciate others. For instance:

* Don’t let them treat a store clerk, waitress, or babysitters as if invisible.

* Don’t let your child quit a sports team or school chorus without thinking carefully with them about what it means for the group.

3. Expect your children to appreciate you-their relationship with you will be a primary model for their other relationships. That doesn’t mean making yourself the focus. It means not allowing your children to treat you as a doormat, and expecting them to express some modicum of interest about major events in your life and to thank you for your generosity.

4. Don’t focus directly and narrowly on developing your child’s happiness and self-esteem. Instead, support your child’s developing maturity. Maturity, including the ability to manage destructive feelings, to balance and coordinate our needs with others, to empathize, to receive feedback constructively, to be reflective, and to adjust our behavior, is at the heart of both morality and lasting well-being.

5. While it’s important to help children understand and articulate their feelings, be wary of pointing out children’s feelings too frequently or drawing a lot of attention to passing emotional states. Doing these things can cause children to dramatize their feelings, and to make their own feelings too precious.

6. Help your child register kindness and unkindness, justice and injustice in the world. Listen carefully, without quickly judging, to your child’s moral questions and dilemmas. Express your own values, and connect them to your child’s experiences and interpretations.

7. Don’t seek to be your child’s friend. You can be very close to your child in many ways, but it’s vital that children experience you as an authority, that they idealize you at certain points in their development and see you as someone they want to emulate. Children come to appreciate others as independent and distinct when we appreciate them as distinct.

Source: Dr Sonia

They are the essence of what is good in life and taking care of them can easily ping about the pleaser that you need. Newborn baby skin care products are all about organic products that ensure that baby’s skin is well nourished and taken care. There is a regime that will need to be taken into consideration as part of the newborn baby skin care.

There Is Nothing Wrong With Trial And Error:

Baby face skin care or newborn baby skin care can make you feel like a failure. That is because baby acne often comes out when your newborn is a few days or weeks old. This should not make you think that what you have been doing with the newborn baby skin care is wrong. Instead take at it is, baby acne can happen and often does happen. This is not an indication of you being a bad parent or anything like that so be strong and preserver.

Just being there and giving baby the support they need in their world is important and can a real joy, as they do need you more than anything else. They are frail and you are the only world that they know until they can fend for themselves. So don’t feel depressed about it, as it is a fairly common thing, which can only be resolved with time. Just ensure that you do have as much information as you can under your belt to that you newborn baby skin care efforts don’t end not yielding any results.

Source: Dr Anu

While pregnant with baby number three, I had a hard time feeling relaxed. I couldn’t find a comfortable sleeping position, and my growing baby’s favorite activity involved doing gymnastics with my bladder as her springboard. But pregnancy shouldn’t be uncomfortable all the time, here are a few simple tips to help you enjoy your pregnancy.

The Five-Minute Rule

I’ll admit I complained any chance I got to my husband about being pregnant. Before long it seemed he stopped listening, which of course frustrated me and made me complain more. Then we came up with the five-minute rule: before we went to bed, I had five minutes to tell him about everything that hurt, and he would listen to every ill. I never made the full five minutes, but having the time helped me not to complain—or think about the discomfort—for the rest of the day. (Plus, I slept better.)

Give Yourself a Facial

You don’t have to go to the spa to get a good facial—just to your kitchen. Sonia raj, the spa director at Sona  Spa( Mumbai), knows how to pamper clients. At home, she recommends using plain yogurt as a facial cleanser, a paste of baking soda and water as an exfoliant, and plain yogurt mixed with cornmeal as a body scrub. For dry skin, sonia suggests mixing one avocado and two teaspoons extra virgin olive oil until smooth and applying to your face. After 10 minutes, rinse the mask off with warm water.

Go for a Pedicure

You may not be able to see your feet, but a foot massage and pretty toenails might be just the de-stresser you need. Sonia reminds you to go after your first trimester and to tell your nail technician that you’re pregnant, since certain deep massage techniques and essential oils are not appropriate for pregnancy. If you choose to include fragrant, essential oils as part of your treatment, Sonia recommends soothing oils such as lavender, rose, or chamomile.

Three Deep Breaths

Meditation can help you positively focus your thoughts. If you’ve never meditated before, Thomas Crum, author of several books, including Three Deep Breaths: Finding Power and Purpose in a Stressed-Out World, gives a simple technique that you can integrate into your day. Practice breathing deeply: inhale by filling the belly first then the chest, exhale first out of the belly, then the chest. Once you feel comfortable, use the three-deep-breath strategy. For the first breath, what Crum calls, the Centering Breath, reenergize by doing one deep, calming breath. For the second breath, or the Possibility Breath, think of what you want to be, for instance a good mother, more organized, more confident. Finally, with the last breath, or the Discovery Breath, think about all of the possibilities in your life, what your new little one will be like, whether she’ll have your eyes, whether he’ll have your taste in music.

As a father, Bob understands that we often get caught up during the day and can’t find time to meditate, so he suggests triggers, or anchors, to help us remember. For instance, don’t just say that you’re going to meditate before you shower, have the shower handle as a trigger and do your three deep breaths before you get in. The steering wheel might be another anchor—every time you get into the car and touch the wheel, that’s your reminder to breathe in deeply three times.

Crum compares the cumulative effect of these short meditation sessions to an aerobic workout. “Just like we know that you can have three, 10-minute aerobic sessions throughout the day that add up to a good physical workout, with this meditation process you can align yourself and relax in multiple, short sessions during the day without ever closing your eyes.”

Learn to Say No

“One of the greatest challenges to mothers today is prioritizing and saying no to lesser priorities,” explains Bria Simpson, a parenting coach, mother of three, and the author of The Balanced Mom: Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Self.

“Whenever someone asks something of you, tell them you’ll think about it and get back to them,” says Simpson. “In the next 24 hours, ask yourself—’Is this request a top priority? And does it help me maintain a healthy balance?’ If the answer is no, say no. Become a master mom at saying no, now, and your journey into motherhood will be much more enjoyable!”

Surround Yourself with Beauty

Surround yourself with things that make you feel peaceful, such as your favorite clothing, pictures on the wall, perfumes, or incense, recommends Belov. I have a bowl of my favorite potpourri on a table next to my front door. When I walk in, I smell whiffs of the Mediterranean Sea, which help me de-stress.

Keep your Dates Alive

You may not feel too sexy at 36-weeks pregnant, but Simpson advises you continue going on dates with your spouse. “Every week, spend time just the two of you—go to dinner, catch a movie, or take a walk,” she says. “It will be much easier for your couple relationship to thrive post-baby if you’ve maintained a close relationship during your pregnancy.”

Take Time for Yourself

All of the experts, including Belov and Crum, suggest that pregnancy is the perfect time to indulge. Record the simple moments and your reflections about motherhood in a journal. Create some memories—and relax—by taking a day off from work to meet a friend, go see a movie, or take a walk in the park. “You will be all-consumed in care giving shortly,” relates Simpson. “Build up some good reserves by pampering yourself now!”

Create your Own Relaxation Technique

Whether it’s pregnancy yoga, a trip to your favorite hairstylist, or curling up with a good book, create your own relaxation strategy. Just like every woman’s experience in pregnancy is unique, so too will your method to relax. Try one tip each week to see if you find something that works for you. Not only will you be helping yourself by learning how to relax, your pregnancy might go by faster, too.

Source: Dr Anupama Srini (Gynae)

Moms returning to work typically have an easier time finding a satisfying job when they take steps to protect their earning power, stay involved in their industry and maintain business networks while they are at home caring for their children. If you are a stay at home mom, and you plan to return to paid employment some time in the future, your ability to return to the workforce in a satisfying job will have a lot to do with what you do when you are not employed.

Finding a child-care situation you feel good about is one way to help ease this transition. You have many options, from an in-home nanny to a home day care or large center. Take your time with this decision, and follow what your instincts are telling you about the people who you’re considering putting in charge of your baby. Some mothers and fathers work opposite shifts while their baby is very small to avoid having to use outside child care. Dads often benefit from this arrangement, since they get an opportunity to bond with the baby while you’re working. You could also save a lot of money. One potential drawback is that you won’t see each other as much, and your relationship may need extra attention. Don’t forget to consider family as possible caretakers — siblings, aunts, uncles, and grandparents may be willing and available. Try your mom’s groups — sometimes another mom is interested in providing child care. Maybe you could even trade off if your schedules allow. Whatever child-care situation you choose, be flexible and open to the idea of changing things if they don’t work out.

By.  Mrs. Shobha